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Lost Boy: The True Story of One Man's Exile from a Polygamist Cult and His Brave Journey to Reclaim His Life, by Brent W. Jeffs, Maia Szal
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In the polygamous Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS), girls can become valuable property as plural wives, but boys are expendable, even a liability. In this powerful and heartbreaking account, former FLDS member Brent Jeffs reveals both the terror and the love he experienced growing up on his prophet’s compound—and the harsh exile existence that so many boys face once they have been expelled by the sect.
Brent Jeffs is the nephew of Warren Jeffs, the imprisoned leader of the FLDS. The son of a prominent family in the church, Brent could have grown up to have multiple wives of his own and significant power in the 10,000-strong community. But he knew that behind the group’s pious public image—women in chaste dresses carrying babies on their hips—lay a much darker reality. So he walked away, and was the first to file a sexual-abuse lawsuit against his uncle. Now Brent shares his courageous story and that of many other young men who have become “lost boys” when they leave the FLDS, either by choice or by expulsion.
Brent experienced firsthand the absolute power that church leaders wield—the kind of power that corrupts and perverts those who will do anything to maintain it. Once young men no longer belong to the church, they are cast out into a world for which they are utterly unprepared. More often than not, they succumb to the temptations of alcohol and other drugs.
Tragically, Brent lost two of his brothers in this struggle, one to suicide, the other to overdose. In this book he shows that lost boys can triumph and that abuse and trauma can be overcome, and he hopes that readers will be inspired to help former FLDS members find their way in the world.
- Sales Rank: #318801 in Books
- Published on: 2010-07-13
- Released on: 2010-07-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .60" w x 5.20" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 264 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
63 of 65 people found the following review helpful.
An Example of Great Courage
By Sam Sattler
Brent Jeffs is part of a Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) royal family. The FLDS is a splinter group that, decades ago, broke away from mainstream Mormonism over the issue of polygamy, and Brent's grandfather Rulon Jeffs became the church's prophet in 1986. His son (Brent's uncle), Warren Jeffs, an incredibly evil man who almost destroyed Brent's family, succeeded Rulon Jeffs in that all-powerful position.
"Lost Boy" is Brent's eye-opening account of what it was like to grow up in that cult under the leadership of his uncle. Brent Jeffs was raised in a polygamous family, one that included three sister-wives and something like twenty brothers, sisters, half-brothers and half-sisters. His mother was the first to marry Brent's father but she eventually lost her family leadership role when a younger, more aggressive wife became her husband's favorite. That her husband's second wife was her own blood sister made the loss of stature and affection even more difficult for Brent's mother to accept. The second wife would be followed by a third, this time a sixteen-year-old, but his mother's younger sister would maintain her hold on Brent's father for years to come.
Brent vividly describes the frustrations involved in growing up inside a polygamous family, the petty jealousies and rivalries between the wives and the children and the constant struggle to get the attention of a father who could not possibly pay adequate attention to the emotional needs of all of his children. It was this lack of parental awareness that allowed Warren Jeffs to get away with sexually abusing Brent and two of his older brothers when each was around the age of five.
Warren Jeffs, during the period in which he abused the boys, was the most dangerous kind of pervert there is: a pervert with absolute power over his victims and their families. His power to excommunicate church members, a process in which they would lose their homes and their jobs before being forced to live in a world for which they were unprepared, made his crimes not only possible, but easy.
The book's title, "Lost Boy," refers to the several hundred teenage boys Warren Jeffs kicked out of the community because he saw them as rivals for the hands of their young female peers, girls and young women Warren and his followers wanted to add to their own collection of wives. Many of the excommunicated boys, such as Brent himself, turned to drugs and alcohol to survive the world into which they were suddenly tossed. Some of the least prepared, usually the ones with no family members already on the outside, were forced into male prostitution in order to survive on their own.
Brent Jeffs, despite his tough transition, found the courage to confront his Uncle Warren Jeffs in a courtroom. He survived his early years, seems to be doing well these days, and "Lost Boy" is his very personal story of the horror he faced as a child. Surprisingly, however, the book is written in such a dry style that it is difficult to emotionally bond with the author despite his willingness to share his deepest secrets. The writing is straightforward to the degree that it becomes flat and somewhat repetitive at times, a tendency that slows down the pace at which one expects a story like this one to be told. But this is an important story and Brent Jeffs must be commended for having the courage, first, to stand up to the pervert who so deeply damaged him and his family and, second, to share his story with the rest of us.
53 of 55 people found the following review helpful.
Preying on Ignorance, Fear and Innocence
By A Joyful Reader
Hard as it was to read, I finished this book in one day. Told with a tenderness mixed with outrage, Brent Jeffs' reflections on growing up in the FLDS opens a window to the secret teachings that hold such sway over ignorant but well-intended "faithful" FLDS households. Knowing nothing else, and kept confined in compounds of like-minded believers whose main duties are to be obedient to the prophet's teachings and to "stay sweet" (i.e. go along to get along), it is hard to garner the courage to leave when one knows leaving means loss of family contact and eternal damnation - not easy consequences to bear for leaving the only lifestyle and belief system one has ever known. The saving grace in Jeff's book comes from his brutal honesty tempered by a compassion which, thankfully, the crimes committed against him and others in this sect by those in authority over them could not stamp out. Paramount is his mother's constant love and his father's ultimate decision to choose his family over his church. It is a riviting tale exposing the heartache of polygamos marriage and the sick society that accompanies it. The trial and ultimate conviction of Warren Jeffs is hardly recompence for the damage done to Brent Jeffs and other "lost boys." Highly recommend this book.
23 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting Look at FLDS
By Julie Peterson
I was pretty happy when I found out that I was being sent a copy of LOST BOY by Brent W. Jeffs with Maia Szalavitz as part of the Library Thing Early Reviewer Program. I am a regular viewer of the HBO series Big Love, and I'm strangely fascinated with the beliefs of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS.) I knew this book was going to be one of those tell-all books, but I had no idea just how amazing Brent Jeffs' story is.
It's difficult to say that I could actually enjoy a book like this, so I'll say that I found it very interesting and almost unbelievable. When I use the term "unbelievable," I don't mean that I didn't find the book truthful; rather I am just blown away by Brent Jeffs' story. As I read this book, I was utterly disgusted by how much damage Warren Jeffs did to so many people. I almost hate to admit this, but one of the main reasons I wanted to read this book was to get details about Warren Jeffs. I'm not going to go into specifics here because I don't want to give away too much of Jeffs' story; however, suffice it to say, that the mental and physical abuse that took place in this church is horrific.
I guess what amazed me most about this book was that ultimately, it wasn't just a sensationalized account of Warren Jeffs and the FLDS. As sad as this book was (and it is very, very sad), I actually found this book to be uplifting. I have so much respect for Brent Jeffs. I am amazed by how he was able to work through his problems (unlike so many members of his family) and eventually find love and happiness. I can't imagine even surviving what Brent Jeffs went though, but that he was able to open up and share his story with so many others is remarkably brave to me. Even when he decided to go after Warren Jeffs, his motives were about saving others -- he didn't do it for financial gain.
I also thought it was very interesting how the author portrayed his parents. Despite their questionable parenting skills, he shows them as loving parents who were caught up in a bad situation. It was clear that he has a good relationship with both of his parents and loves them despite their lack of support when he was young. He also showed how difficult the FLDS rules were for his parents to follow, and I eventually found myself feeling sorry for them (once I got over my anger for certain aspects of their behavior.) I think the love of his family and his respect for his parents helped him work through his abuse and start a new life.
I was a little bit surprised that Brent Jeffs wrote this book with another author because at times, I didn't really think the writing was polished. I thought the first part of the book was much rougher than the second. I'm not sure if the writing detracted from my appreciation of the book because it read like Brent Jeffs was telling his story to me -- maybe that was the authors' and editors' intent. All I'm saying is that I was surprised to find that someone helped him write it.
If your book club enjoys reading non-fiction or memoirs, then LOST BOY might be a good fit for your group. I was slightly surprised that there is a reading guide available for this book, but the more I think about it, the more I can see the value in discussing this book. I thought the discussion questions were very thought-provoking, and I think it would be very interesting to hear my friends' opinions on Brent Jeffs and his family. In fact, as I was reading this book, I kept telling my family and friends things that happened in this book because I so wanted to talk about it with someone!
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